Where will the journey take me?

If you're wondering why I haven't written anything in a little while, it's not because I've given up.  But I started this blog to talk at getting better, and I realized that I wasn't doing a whole lot of getting better.  The journey continues, though.  I just don't know where it will take me at this point.

I had a very good appointment with my primary doctor the other day.  I wanted to discuss all of my updates with her and get her advice on where to go next.  I was concerned about taking competing blood pressure medications (one to raise my BP and one to lower it).  She agreed that this could be an issue, especially since I was having more dizzy spells.  She suggested I give the new med (that lowers BP) another week to see if it helps the tinnitus, and then stop taking it if it's not helping by then.  I love that she told me that I need to be my own advocate, and if I don't feel like something is right I need to speak up.  (Not that I didn't already do that.)

We also discussed my extreme fatigue, and running to all of these doctors.  I asked her for some direction on where she thought I should focus my energy.  She suggested that I have 2 consults: one with a Lyme specialist, which is scheduled for January 10th, and one at the Fibromyalgia Center.  After hearing what each of them have to say, I may be able to get better direction with one of those places.  It's one thing to treat the pain with physical therapy, the migraines with a neurologist, etc., but it would be really nice to get to the root cause of everything and treat it all together.

In the mean time, Megan was sick for several days so we postponed our plans to visit family for the holiday.  I was supposed to take off from work on Monday and Tuesday, but now I rescheduled to go in on those days.  And, as luck would have it, I'm coming down with something today.  After spending a long, relaxing weekend snuggling with my sick girl, I have body aches, a cough and a cold sore - just in time for work tomorrow.  It would be nice if my office would close due to the snow, but I highly doubt that will happen.  At least the office will be quiet since most people are on vacation.

OUCH!

I had another facet injection today.  Well, technically I guess it would be considered 2 injections, since the doctor did both sides of my neck at C-5/C-6.  I had this appointment scheduled before the pinched nerve happened earlier this week, so it was good timing.  Unfortunately, this time around the injections were more painful than last time.  Maybe because it was both sides - I'm not really sure.

Even with the numbing medication, I could feel some pain when he was through.  And from past experience, I know I will be in a world of hurt once the numbing medication wears off (it's starting to already).  This is totally expected, although last time it wasn't too bad since it was confined to one side.  But I also know from experience that this will provide a lot of relief soon.  It usually takes 3-4 days for the injection to really start to work, but once it does I will hopefully be able to take advantage of some pain-free time and go back to my strengthening exercises.

For now, I'll ice and rest and think about the relief that is on its way.

Paging Dr. House...

In the words of some good friends of mine, I need someone like Dr. House to review my entire medical history and figure out what is wrong with me.  I received more inconclusive results last night.  But from my research, they do give a little more direction.  I sent them to my primary doctor to review, but I have a feeling another specialist is on the horizon.  We'll see.

I'm just tired of bandaiding all of the symptoms.  I want to solve the problem.  The latest, in addition to still being completely run down, is a pinched nerve in my neck that is causing constant pain in my upper back, and pain when I turn my head or move my arms.  This is a set-back for PT because the therapist wants me to focus on strengthening and stability, but told me NOT to do any exercises while I have pain from this.  So, now I have to take more anti-inflammatory meds and hope this gets better quickly.

When will I start getting better?

I'm trying to do all the right things, but I keep ending up right back in the same place.  Worn out, run down, aches and pains, and with whatever virus is going around.  I started off yesterday with a sore throat and upper back pain.  It only got worse as the day went on.  So today I am home, resting.  I feel like the only thing I can do is give my body time to heal.  But I'm going in circles.

I finally got the results from my MRI, which didn't show anything.  I'm waiting for the ENT to get some blood work results and then he'll let me know where we go from here.  In the mean time, my left ear still bothers me on a regular basis, and the tinnitus is always there - sometimes worse than others.  The dizziness has continued also.

I do feel like PT is helping me make some progress though.  My last appointment was on Monday, and they continued with the Graston Technique (which leaves me with nasty bruises, but seems to be helping).  When I left there, I actually felt great.  I had lots of movement in my neck and shoulders without pain, except that where the therapist works with Graston is painful to the touch.  Unfortunately, by later that day I started getting a lot of muscle pain in my upper back between my shoulder blades.  That pain still continues today.  I'm supposed to be doing a lot of exercises at home.  The problem is that there are not enough hours in the day, and not enough energy in my body!  I tried making time for exercising in the morning before work.  No luck.  It's hard enough getting out of bed as it is.  Evenings are even worse since I'm wiped out from the day, yet I have to help with homework, dinner, baths, etc.  In the mean time, my Short Term Disability claim for the first 2 weeks (prior to surgery) was officially denied.  They don't see that I had a problem that required me to stop working.  Looks like I have to write an appeal letter.

Off to take a nap!

2 naps today

I think the title pretty much says it all.  I am totally run down.  This can't keep happening.  In addition, I've had more dizziness and ear pain in the last 2 days.  When does the fun end?

A long weekend

I thought a 4 day weekend would give me time to rest, but that doesn't seem to be the case.  I may have rested some but not enough to get ahead of the game.

My office closed early on Wednesday, which is nice.  So I used the time to run errands and make dinner.  Thursday we spent a lot of time cleaning up the house and then went to Thanksgiving dinner at my cousin's house.  Friday was more cleaning, then babysitting my adorable nephew for a bit, then physical therapy (which left me with bruises, but that's another story!).  Saturday was more of the same, except Megan ended up with a stomach virus.  Thankfully that was short lived, but we chose to stay home today instead of running her ragged and exposing others to the germs.  So far today I spent most of the morning cleaning out the fish tank.  And now my back is paying for it.

Tomorrow starts the whole process over again.  Back to work, then running out for an MRI at lunch, then back to work.  I also have PT 2 days next week plus a follow up with my orthopedist.  Too much running around!  I honestly don't know how my body is supposed to handle this.

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.

Today, I fold.  I give in.  I'm asking for mercy.

I had a great weekend.  Sean and I had a date on Saturday night.  I knew ahead of time that I would be exhausted afterwards, but I wanted to go anyway.  We went out to see our friends' band.  A great group of guys that we don't get to see very often, awesome musicians, and a lot of fun.  I had a great time, but I forgot what it was like to stand in a loud bar all night.  When we walked out of the bar, my ears were ringing louder than usual and they felt really full.  I chalked it up to the loud music (next time I'll have to bring ear plugs!) and figured it would go away after a little while.

I don't think I got to sleep until around 3AM - on the floor at my parents' house (they babysat the kids while we went out).  Obviously, waking up at 8 on Sunday morning left me a bit exhausted.  My left ear was still ringing louder than usual, and with the fullness it was actually starting to hurt.  But we went through the day as planned.  Drove to NJ to visit my cousin and had a very nice "family day" at his house.  By the time we left there, I was starting to get occasional sharp pain in my left ear.  It would last for about 10 seconds and then be gone.

The drive home took a lot longer than usual thanks to traffic in Philly due to the Philadelphia Marathon.  On the drive I started to get dizzy.  At first I thought it was just because I was so tired, but I'm now realizing that it's related to my ear.  The dizziness and stabbing pain got worse as the evening went on.

I went to sleep last night at a decent time, hoping that a good night's sleep would help everything go back to normal.  I still had a lot of trouble getting out of bed this morning, and I realized as soon as I got up that the dizziness hasn't gone away.  I went about my morning as usual and made it to PT in spite of being dizzy.  But still, it continued.  My PT actually wants to see the test results from Friday to see if there's any way she can help with the ear issues.  Of course, there's only so much that can fit into one PT session when you're still trying to work full time!  And today I needed to focus on my neck and upper back.

Toward the end of my PT session, the dizziness got even worse.  I even had to stop doing some exercises because of it.  Driving home was no picnic.  Glad it's only about 5 minutes away.  I took my time coming home.  But that was it.  I emailed my boss to tell him that I wasn't going to make it in today.  I can't keep pushing myself through things like this.  It's one thing to be dizzy when you turn your head, but an entirely different story when the waves come on for no reason when you are not moving.  I can not see sitting at my desk all day feeling like this.

So that's it.  Today I will let my body rest and try to heal itself.  One day at a time is all I can do right now.  The ringing is back down to the usual volume, so maybe that's a start for everything else to return to normal.

And for the record, I'm still glad we went out on Saturday night!

Every day is something new

One of my more minor issues is tinnitus.  For most people, it's just an occasional annoyance.  I've had ringing in both ears for as long as I can remember.  It was never a big deal, until about a year ago.  The ringing in my left ear got a lot worse and became constant.  That ear always feels full and occasionally it hurts.  I've had my ears checked numerous times and there never appears to be a problem.  In fact, doctors usually tell me that it's clear even when it feels full to me.

In the last few months, the left ear has gotten even worse.  The pain comes more often and I can hear the ringing even in my loud office.  In September, I went to my ENT for another reason (abnormalities on an MRI and CT scan - the scans were done for my neck problems but they found other stuff) and mentioned the tinnitus.  He checked my hearing, which was near perfect (to my children's dismay) and didn't see anything else wrong.  So he prescribed a steroid in case there was inflammation and told me to try some Ginkgo Biloba.  He asked me to come back 6 weeks later.

6 weeks went by with absolutely no change in the ringing.  At the next appointment he asked some questions about dizziness and vertigo, and watched me walk.  I've always had dizziness upon standing (low blood pressure) but sometimes it's hard to separate that from true dizziness.  He checked my hearing again, which still hadn't changed, and then suggested I come back for 2 tests.  I've actually had these tests done before, probably about 13 years ago, and the results were normal.

Yesterday I went in for the tests.  They are the VNG and AVR (I think).  I don't know what those stand for, but they are some odd tests!  For the first one, I wore special infrared goggles which measured how my eyes moved as I watched a dot move around on an electronic board.  They also forced cool and warm air into my ears, which makes you dizzy, and measured my eyes' reaction to that.  The 2nd test was even more strange.  They put earphones IN my ears and electrodes on my forehead and earlobes.  The earphones just played a series of clicks while the electrodes measured the response of my brain.

The doctor called me with the results within a few hours of completing the tests.  Both tests were abnormal in the left ear.  One of them could indicate an inner ear or a central problem, but the other one more specifically points to a central problem.  So, he now wants me to go for another MRI (this time with contrast) and also some bloodwork.  He said he likes to check for Lyme Disease since that could cause ear problems, even though I've been tested twice for it before and it came back negative both times.

Of course, I always have to self-diagnose.  I do lots of research on the internet to figure out what is going on with me and what options I have.  Since it was already late on Friday afternoon, I wasn't going to call to schedule the MRI until Monday.  But I had to look up the diagnosis code on the paperwork.  I HAD to.  I shouldn't have.  The diagnosis code indicates some kind of non-cancerous tumor behind the ear that presses on nerves and causes problems like tinnitus (check), headaches (check), dizziness (check), and fatigue (check).  Small tumors typically aren't a problem, but as they grow, symptoms get worse.  I immediately picked up the phone and called to schedule the MRI.  Considering my last MRI showed other abnormalities, this scared me.

With Thanksgiving next week, I have to wait until the following week to have the MRI.  Figures.  In the mean time, I will call the doctor back on Monday and see if he wants to look at my last MRI and CT scan one more time to see if those will help him figure out what is going on.  When I took them to him last time, we were focused on another hemangioma on my neck so I don't think he looked at anything else.  He's the doctor who removed the hemangioma from my neck 2 years ago, and this new one seems to be in a similar place.

Fun stuff!

For now, I'm going to go enjoy a much needed night out.  Sean and I are going to see our friends' band tonight.  I think I could use a few drinks, even if they come with a migraine.

Ouch!

I went to Physical Therapy this morning and, among other things, I let the therapist tape my back.  We've done this before and I know the benefit, but I definitely need to ease into it.  She puts an "X" of tape across my shoulders to my mid-back while my shoulder blades are pinched together.  This holds my shoulder blades in the proper position, while giving my "cranky" upper traps a chance to relax in this position.

I knew it wouldn't last long.  She taped me around 9:15 this morning, and by 12:45 I was almost in tears.  I came home to rip the tape off (another ouch!) but it still hurts.  I'm now icing my upper back.  I wasn't planning to take a lunch break today since I was late to work, but I had no choice.

An update since my last entry... I knew with how achy I was on Wednesday that something wasn't right.  I ended up leaving work a little early and coming home to sleep.  The achiness continued on Thursday so I had to take a sick day.  I napped off and on during the day and thankfully was feeling better by Friday.  The aches were gone but I was still drained.  Even today, from all of the running around this morning, I'm drained.  I'm doing everything I can to be healthier.  When will it all kick in?!

Not a great day

I'm thankful that I don't have a migraine yet today (the day is still young though, right?), but it sucks to feel like crap and still have to get up and go.  For some reason, I had a lot of trouble waking up this morning when my alarm went off.  I was really tired and dragging.  Not a great start to the day.

At 9:00, I had a meeting at work and the conference room was really warm.  The temperature in my office is so crazy.  It's either freezing (with cold air blowing on my neck as I sit at my desk) or extremely hot, and the temperature varies as you move throughout the office.  The warm conference room was making me feel uncomfortable, and even somewhat lightheaded.  When I went back to my desk, I was still hot (even though I'm usually cold sitting there) and just felt all over yucky.  Not to mention that the fatigue I had in the morning was still with me.

So I came home at lunch to put my feet up and relax for a bit.  A nap right about now would be great, but I doubt I'd be able to get up and go back to work.  In addition to all of this, my neck and shoulder muscles hurt from physical therapy yesterday.  My regular pain is still there, but as the therapist was trying to work out the tight muscles, she was really digging in.  I'm used to this because it's the only way to get my muscles to relax (not that it totally works).  But the problem is that I'm always sore the next day.  It literally feels like my muscles are bruised.  It hurts to touch them, but of course I do touch them because they still hurt from being tight.  A no-win situation.

Well, only a few more minutes to relax before I have to go back to the office.  Boo!